The first present under the tree was the last present my husband gave me to open on Christmas morning.
It was a very long package—large but thin. He said it was fragile, so be careful. I had absolutely no idea what it could be.
When I finally unwrapped it, I was completely shocked. Inside was a custom Angela Howell Studio sign to hang in my art studio. Beautiful wood and metal. The wood looked like an extension of our custom trim throughout the house.
A perfect gift, in theory.
We had never talked about
this.
I had never said I wanted anything like it.
While it was clearly a thoughtful and beautiful gift, I felt immediate resistance.
My first thought was, This is something a professional artist would have.
I even said it out loud.
He looked at me and said, “You are a
professional artist.”
I said, “Yeah, but…”
But what?
He was right.
And still—I felt pressure.
Like somehow it didn’t belong to me.
Like if I hung that sign, I’d have to keep my studio tidy—really tidy.
Like I’d need to be a
professional artist in every way, all the time.
Clearly, I have some kind of hang-up about what I think a “professional artist” is—and what I am not.
I think I backed into this whole artist career so unexpectedly that sometimes it still doesn’t quite feel real. I’m amazed that I can create things people want to buy. I’m amazed that I can create things I love—and that we have hanging all through our house. (And my
husband is picky.)
Still, I continued to reject the gift, and at first, dodge the real issue.
I began silently contemplating, If I had ordered a sign for my studio, what would I have done differently? In other words, what would the perfect sign have looked like?
My sweet husband has dealt with this type of gift-rejecting behavior from me for a long time. I wish I wasn’t so reluctant to receive his thoughtful gifts.
Worthiness? Extreme frugality? I’ll keep working on it.
My brain went into overtime on this sign gift. I had to call several of my
chief encouragers to process all the things I thought it meant or implied, and my strong resistance to it.
I committed to hanging it by New Year’s weekend—and I missed that deadline.
I wasn’t purposely trying not to hang the sign…but I also wasn’t exactly trying to hang it.
Some of that delay was also perfectionism about the actual placement. I told myself things like, Well, if I hang it on the art wall the way it is now, what will I do when I rearrange the art? We have to really think this through.
It felt like such a permanent decision!
So that weekend came and went. When Monday morning rolled around, I told my husband, “We’ve got to hang that sign.”
So by 9 AM, my husband helped me, and we got it up.
Even as we hung it, I asked him—very sincerely—“Did you buy this with the hopes it would pressure me into making more art, selling more art, and making more money?”
He said, “Not at all! I’m really sorry you even had to think that.”
Then he said, “I wanted you to see it and feel proud. And if it motivates you to paint, I like that only because I know you’re happy when you paint.”
We hung it on my main gallery wall, a little higher than the focal painting to allow for flexibility with future art rearrangement. If placement becomes an issue later, we’ll fix it—it’s a SIGN, not a door or window.
I received the sign on December 25.
I hung it January 5.
Eleven days later.
Who cares how long it took? The process of receiving this gift was important.
Fast forward, a few days have passed and now the sign feels like a welcome addition to my space. An anchor. A mirror.
I don’t notice it in a pressured way, but
in a settled way.
It belongs here in Angela Howell Studio. I belong here, too.
After I finally hung it, one of my friends said something that really stuck with me. She said, “Congratulations on receiving the gift.” Then she added, “Just because you find the gift doesn’t mean you’ve received it.”
POW. That will stick with me for a long time.
Friends, it’s okay to be everything we were created to be. We don’t have to apologize for our talents, our passions, our special quirks, or our greatness.
We can embrace other people’s reflections of us as a gift to be received, not rejected.
There is not another person on this earth who is just like us. What a unique gift we are to the world!
So…
If someone gave you a sign to hang in your workspace or your home, what words or statement would make you uncomfortable and want to reject the gift?
Talented
teacher.
Creative friend.
Successful business owner.
Generous.
Caring.
Resilient.
Beautiful.
Smart.
Powerful.
What label is true about
you—but difficult for you to receive?
You don’t have to purchase a three-foot custom sign for your wall to confront your resistance to accept what’s already true about yourself (although apparently that’s one way to work
through it).
But what an interesting experiment to consider:
What sign
hanging in your space, talking about you, received as a gift from someone who knows you well, would make you uncomfortable?
Think of a quality or a title that you know deep down is probably true about you, yet being
recognized for it makes you uncomfortable.
Then ask yourself why.
Is it because it isn’t true…or because it is?
Wonder why we shrink back
from accepting our good qualities? We were all taught to not brag, but this is different.
The empowerment that comes from acknowledging what makes us special is a wonderful way to greet this world and keep giving it
our best.
Owning who we are—celebrating who we are—is a big part of Finding the Gift. First we find it. Then we receive it. And over time, we really begin to own it.
Cheers to all of us accepting, receiving, and owning all the gifts we’ve been given. And all those yet to come. Happy New Year!
*My last email of 2025 was also about self-honesty. Did you miss it? Read it here. When the Door Opens, Why Do We
Freeze?
Want to see how the sign looks in my studio? Click HERE!
