We have a screened-in porch and our inside cats love spending time out there, especially during the stretch of unseasonably warm weather we just had. Weather permitting, we
leave the interior door open so they can come and go as they please.
Because of the cats, the screen door exiting to the patio intentionally opens inward and closes on its own. However, if we open it a little too wide, it hangs on the concrete and doesn't close—something we have to watch out for when the cats have open access to the porch.
One day last week, while carrying an empty box out for kindling, I walked over to the shop and didn’t notice that the screen door hadn’t slammed shut behind me. Thankfully I was only gone a few minutes.
When I came back, I found several cats timidly peering out from the porch, and two cats slowly creeping down the stairs. They were clearly interested—but they weren’t moving very fast. It seemed like they knew they should want to get out and explore, but as indoor-only kitties, they were reluctant.
One of them, however, is a certified escape artist. Jazzy regularly sits at the front door crying to be let out. We have to watch her because if she sees an opening, she’s gone. We’ve chased her around the yard and pulled her out from under the porch more times than I can count. But this time, with the back screen door wide open and no one around to keep her safe or instantly rescue her, she hesitated.
Jazzy surprised me that day, and opened my eyes to a hard truth—wanting something doesn’t always mean we’ll act on our desires, even (and maybe especially) when the door is finally wide open.
We often think we want freedom and
new opportunities. We think we want more than our current circumstances. We tell ourselves we’d be happier if we could just get this job, end this season, or be in this relationship.
But if the door were truly wide open
to have what we want, would we actually walk through it? Would we accept the new adventure and explore the unknown? Or would we hesitate?
These are worthy questions.
Because sometimes not moving forward in life isn’t about being trapped or otherwise unable to go after what we want. Sometimes it’s about fear, or maybe fear disguised as blame.
It’s easier to blame someone or something else when we feel restless or stuck, than to admit we’re unsure, unprepared, or afraid of what’s on the other side of a different door.
Using blame feels safer than confronting our own hesitation.
And blame (doubt, fear) can keep us from answering the real questions, like:
Would we take the chance to change something if we could? And if not, why not?
Self-honesty matters here. Knowing why we stay where we are when presented with something new and inviting is powerful insight.
We are where we are for a
reason. We can always blame others, but if we take a deeper look within, we can find ownership for the choices that ultimately determined our lives, at least up to this point.
When we’re honest with ourselves, kindly and
without judgment, we free ourselves from misplaced blame and resentments toward others. We can own up to our lives, face our fears and become better prepared for great opportunities when they do arise.
As one year ends
and another begins, this is a natural time to reflect. Consider these questions:
What do I love?
What do I want more of?
What do I want less of?
Where am I feeling constricted and needing an open door? (And the courage to walk through it?)
And perhaps most
importantly:
If the door of what I think I really want were to open today, would I be ready to walk through it? If not, why not?
Maybe what’s standing in your way is uncertainty? If so, start there. Ask questions. Do some research to learn what you need to know.
Build the skills, confidence, and courage now—so that when the door opens (or closes, leaving no other option but to make a move), you’re not frozen on
the stairs wanting to move ahead but unable.
Set yourself up to embrace what you really want so when that door swings your way, you can walk through it with boldness, faith, and trust.
Thank you my FTG friends for another year on this journey together. May we leave 2025 behind with gratitude and enter 2026 ready to embrace the gifts available to us in open and closed doors. Happy New Year!
