Two out of our three senior cats have chilled out over the years when it comes to the vacuum cleaner. They don’t run anymore, as long as they’re not eye level with it. They know I’m going to come near them with this loud noise thing and then I’m going to go away. They’ve learned to trust the process and know they won’t be hurt.
However, Jazzy is 10 years old and still hates the vacuum. She becomes greatly offended when we bring this obnoxious monster into her space. She hates the broom just as much, but in fairness, the broom does make a hissing sound. Jazzy handles her fear by expressing her displeasure and then moving to another area.
Acceptance looks different for different people.
Just because we accept something, doesn’t mean the fear will vanish.
Sometimes acceptance relieves us of uncomfortable feelings like fear, worry, anger, or resentment. But even if they don’t go away, acknowledging our feelings is certainly a start. For some fears, the best we can do may be to accept that the fear is real, regardless of whether or not the threat is, and give ourselves space and comfort.
Jazzy accepts that the vacuum and the broom are going to keep showing up in her world. I know this because she doesn't act surprised, only annoyed and scared. Even though she doesn’t like them and still feels fear, she knows they are part of her life. She has to deal with these disturbances despite wishing they would go away forever.
Again, acceptance doesn’t mean our fear vanishes. It means we give ourselves permission to feel the feelings and seek the comfort we need until peace is restored.
In “Finding the Gift” on December 14, “Get Uncomfortable to Grow,” I shared about Harvey and his fear of the vacuum cleaner years ago. I’m happy to report that Harvey has faced his fears about the vacuum cleaner. He's fine now, as long as he is on higher ground. Harvey is sitting in my lap as I type and is very happy that I am updating you on his big progress.
So be encouraged! Whatever we may be afraid of today, may not bother us for the rest of our lives, even though it may seem that way right now. We can learn to navigate the fear, or we may actually overcome the fear. Either way, we can take great self-care and give ourselves grace when familiar fears show up.
Fears are normal, but staying paralyzed in fear doesn’t have to be our norm. When it’s time to face fear, we don’t have to do it alone. In fact, just letting someone into our feelings and fears may help make them more right-sized. Who can you let into today?
Next week, I will tell you of my latest, colossal fear and what I did about it. Here's a teaser until then...
