Last night, I went out on my deck and a pot of flowers caught my attention. They were wilted and drooping. Even the leaves looked dead and brown, yet I was certain I had just watered them the previous morning. I felt sad because they looked so sad. They have been such a beautiful pot of flowers, so full and alive. I decided to give them water and hope for the best.

 

Upon checking them this morning, they are completely resurrected. If the leaves were brown, they aren’t anymore. The flowers are standing tall, proud and joyful. I am glad that I noticed them and could give them the extra nourishment they needed.

 

Flowers can’t ask for help. They really do depend on someone noticing them and taking good care of them. That is not the same truth we share as humans. But how many of us sit wilting in our pots, waiting for someone to notice and anticipate our needs?

 

I certainly have been guilty of this at times. It’s not other people’s job to read our minds and know what we want or need. It’s our job to ask when we need help. And to keep asking until we get it, because we aren't guaranteed a yes from everyone we ask.

There are at least two obstacles to this happening.

 

One, some of us may have grown up believing we didn’t deserve attention or help. We felt like a burden and we assumed that everyone else would also see us as a burden and wouldn’t want to take time to help us out.

 

That old story is simply not true anymore.

 

There are always people willing to help someone. If our life doesn’t have those kinds of people, it’s time to branch out and look in new places for friendship and support.

 

We must remember life is a two-way street and relationships go both ways. We must also be willing to help others too, when it’s their time of need, instead of only looking for what we can get.

 

Giving and receiving work like a see-saw. Very rarely is it so even that the see-saw hovers balanced in the middle. Sometimes we will give more, and sometimes we will be receiving more. But we remain willing to practice both.

 

The other obstacle to asking for help is admitting to ourselves that we need help. We may decide to stay in our own denial, thinking that we can meet all of our needs, and that we are some sort of superhero who can figure everything out on our own.

 

That is a lonely way to exist and life doesn’t have to be that way. Also, believing we can be fully self-sufficient involves a fair amount of arrogance, and arrogance is the opposite of humility.

 

A humble spirit recognizes that we each have unique gifts and we each have limits. We recognize we were never meant to live this life alone. We take responsibility for our needs and wants, and sometimes that means asking for help.

 

I’m not sure how it works, but sometimes surrender alone proves to be a very powerful action. We take the step of surrender and life rises up to meet us where we are and lend a helping hand.

 

Take a look around your life. Are things working? Is there chaos? Do you tell yourself that no one cares? Do you offer your time and gifts to others? Do you have a superhero, Lone Ranger attitude, priding yourself of not needing anyone? Regular self-inventories are so useful at helping us see truths we may be avoiding.

 

Today, take an inventory of your willingness to ask for and give help. Be curious about what might reveal itself. I strongly recommend doing this in writing. Journaling has a way of accessing the Information and answers within that don't quite make it into our thoughts.

 

Have a great day and remember, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto.

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