Recently I attended an art workshop, as I mentioned last week. Not an art instructional experience, this weekend was designed to help me let go of anything and everything keeping me from my fullest creativity. Once that happened, I could play and make art from the inside out.
I usually have a difficult time in a group art environment. My perfectionistic and performance-focused tendencies are so implanted that I find it hard to let go and just paint when I know others can observe my process and my work. The need to produce is intense and “play” is easily replaced with pressure. But I'm working on it!
Each artist chose their own workspace, an area approximately 10’x12”. I wanted to get into a corner or back area so I could have semi-privacy and feel less intimidated, but when I arrived, those spots were already taken. I trusted that I would be okay out in the open and concluded it may be good practice to grow through my issues.
The facility had all sorts of art mediums we could play with, but also many other resources to indulge our curiosity and exploration. As I began to experiment on water color paper at my table, I noticed another participant was gathering up long, flowy fabric remnants, clipping them to the rafters above her space via a tall ladder, and creating the most beautiful enclosed “studio” in which to spend the weekend.
I was filled with awe and also envy. I wanted what she had so badly, but my inner voice said I couldn’t possibly copy her and do the same thing to my art space. It was her creative idea and it wouldn’t be right to do that in my space. An old familiar voice told me that I just needed to tough it out and ignore my inner requests for special care.
After five minutes of wishful thinking, I did what I had to do. I approached the other woman and told her I loved her creation so much and was incredibly inspired by it. I had to have one of my own and I hoped she didn’t mind if I made one myself and borrowed the ladder when she was done. Of course she didn’t mind at all.
I picked out about 15 pieces of fabric in my favorite colors and once I had the ladder, I began hanging them up. At first, it didn’t look or feel like as wonderful as hers but I kept going. Soon, my own design idea surfaced and I wove all the pieces together to make the most beautiful art fort this artist has ever had.
By adding an “wall” of fabric and creating a special entrance, I felt amazing in my transformed space. Whenever I walked in and out of it, I purposely let the fabric brush across my face. All weekend, I had immense appreciation to myself for taking time to treat my inner artist in this way. I felt embraced and secured by a cocoon of color, and yet I could still see my neighbors on either side. My need for semi-privacy was met in a most unexpectedly delightful way, and it all started
with noticing envy.
In my coaching program, A Life Worth Having, one of the modules is about using envy as a surprise approach to uncovering more of what we want out of life, whether it’s big things or little every day treats. While we may not be able to have everything our heart desires at this moment, we can begin to notice what we really want and ask ourselves how we could move in that direction, or meet that inner need in a different way.
Envy is a clue! Take notice. Sometimes it’s an invitation to get to know what we want. But it also may indicate a need to take a closer look at our perspectives on the circumstances we are envying.
Do we really want or need something we don’t already have? Maybe envy is merely prompting an attitude adjustment to increase our present-day gratitude for life exactly as it is?
Awareness of envy is key, then we can allow peace and passion to guide our next moves. Today, notice envy if it arises and let it bring you full circle to a more peaceful place.
(Photos of my art fort are below.)
