Two weeks ago I shared a walking-inspired meditation entitled, “Charge the Hill.” If you missed it, or want to reread it,
click here. In
short, it encouraged us to keep going toward goals and dreams at the same pace and enthusiasm we started with, despite life obstacles that could easily slow us down, or deter us altogether.
I almost shared a personal example that week, but I held it back for two reasons. One, it would have been an extra long email. Two, I was afraid of being judged. I was afraid some of you might hear my problem and think that your problems are so much bigger (which they very well may be).
To that last point, I want to say that we all have struggles. What’s important to each of us is what’s important to each of us. Our gift to one another is to listen with compassion and kindness. I’m sharing my personal example this week because I believe it's important to connect with each other in the ups, as well as the downs.
My husband and I have been dreaming of and working toward a modest house in the country for almost ten years, but have faced numerous setbacks, personally and financially (sometimes both at once). Knowing the long-term goal was to buy land and build, we sold our last home in 2014 and decided to rent a home for a year or two.
It took much longer than we ever expected to find the right piece of property. We finally purchased land, however, and were so excited at the idea of owning our own home again. Unfortunately, life challenges continued to set us back. Rather than list the hurdles we’ve encountered (stay tuned for that book), I’ll just skip to today.
We had hoped to break ground this spring, but lumber prices have tripled since this time last year. We met with our builder a few weeks ago and received his estimate of what our house will cost to build now. Our financial plan to attain this dream is no longer viable right now, and even if it were, it’s beyond what we’re willing to spend. Back in the car, my husband said, “Well, that is a massive disappointment.”
I considered his words, but they didn't quite feel right. I thought to myself, Yes, I am disappointed. While I could acknowledge it was a significant disappointment, “massive” disappointment felt like resignation to me. Maybe that’s just how it was processed in my head, but I refuse to take on a feeling of defeat, no matter what obstacles come my way. I strongly believe in divine timing and phrases like “rejection is protection.” Thankfully, I have a sense of trust that
quickly rises up in the face of discouragement, assuring me everything will work out just like it's supposed to and when it is supposed to.
I'm grateful this belief was instilled in me as a child. Even if you weren't given that message early on, you can start to affirm it right now:
Everything works for my good, Everything. Even when I can't see it, even when I don't understand it (now or ever), EVERYTHING WORKS FOR MY GOOD.
If you adopt this mantra, you will still experience challenging life events, but not in the same way. Hope will become a learned response.
So yes, we are facing a new "hill" and our plans are once again delayed. Yet, I’m confident we will have our home in the country, one day. I don’t know when and I don’t know if it will be the house that we designed, or something else. But we will keep “charging the hill.”
I will remind myself as often as necessary that if nothing ever changed, we have so much to be thankful for. I will also keep asking, How else could this come to be? In stillness, I will listen for the answers I may not have yet considered. I will know that I’m cared for today and always. And I will remain open-minded.
Being open-minded means being open-ended.
In other words, I’m open to however this chapter ends.
The following bears repeating from "Charge the Hill," Part One:
“Mindfulness is needed to stay in the present, while goals and dreams are needed to keep hope and passion alive in our spirits. No matter what rises up in the path, we can keep going, keep growing, and never lose sight of where we are headed. And if something completely shifts our paths, we can embrace that too. It will probably be far better than we could’ve asked, dreamed or imagined.”
For today, my hubby and I have resolved to live life with gratitude for everything exactly as it is, as we keep nurturing our hopes and dreams about a new home. We will remain open to how life might decide to surprise and delight us. That feels like a pretty good recipe for mindful living every day, no matter what “hills” rise up to meet us.
