An events company sent me an email inviting me to participate in their year-long series about human resilience. Everything else sounded great, but then the last sentence above, "Can we be resilient in a life without joy?" made steam come out of my ears.
A life without joy? I've seen dirt-floor poor communities living in unthinkable circumstances still overflowing with joy on a daily basis. I've been to the rock bottom of grief after the fatal overdose of my baby brother and all the drama that followed. Yet even during those very dark months of my life, I crawled outside almost every day to play with stray cats behind my new home, and I was able to find an hour of joy.
There is no such thing as a life, or even a day without joy, only one’s perception that makes it so.
Despite drowning in the depths of the worst pain or deepest grief ever, if we’re willing, we can find joy. It may only be for fleeting moments, but it's there waiting to be discovered.
Victim thinking is so deadly. I don't want anyone to see that sentence, or one like it, and justify living without joy and being miserable. Justified or not, miserable is still miserable!
Two takeaways
One, we must not buy into our own or other people's justifications to feel bad. A sentence like the one above could easily do that. Sometimes life serves up lesson after lesson, without any reprieves from challenges. We can choose to let ourselves stay beat up and deflated as a result. If we do that and it becomes our new perspective on life, we're going to be in real danger of believing and living the lie that there is life without joy.
Two, we must make sure to find some reason to smile or feel delighted every day, no matter how trying our circumstances. That requires willingness to feel better than our situation might otherwise dictate. Additionally, we have to physically (emotionally, mentally) put ourselves in the flow of goodness. We can listen to inspiring music. Read something positive. Make good self-care gestures. Do something nice for someone else. Gaze out a window. Go to the park and sit on a bench. Take a
walk. Any immersion in nature will yield joy to the diligent seeker.
I saw this beautiful quote yesterday:
“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” ~Zora Neale Hurston
Whichever type of year you are in, joy can be there with you, my friend. Be willing to feel better and put yourself on the path to find a heart-warming smile. Let the goodness you find delight and comfort you, and give you hope for tomorrow's joy as well.
