I’ve often thought that we should live life backwards, or rather, begin with the end in mind. If you’ve read the December 31 meditation in Finding the Gift, you already know I have a weird habit of reading obituaries, trying to learn about the person’s character and the kind of life they led.
If we know how we want to be remembered, we can figure out what to do while we’re alive to make that happen.
Personally, I want to have made an impact using all of my gifts as far-reaching as I can, while also touching individuals one on one, in a memorable way.
We each have numerous gifts beyond the most obvious talents and aptitudes. We are all so beautifully unique. There isn’t another soul on the planet who has our exact combination of gifts. How well are we using what we’ve been given?
What follows is a list of questions one might ask themselves in their final days. Or what a person might ask about someone who passed that they didn’t know very well, if at all. But I say, ask the questions now.
What were the things I was passionate about? What talents did I possess? Did I leave any song unsung?
How did I treat others, and what examples did I set in that regard? Someone is always watching what we do, much more than what we say to do.
When one of our cats misbehaves, I often joke, “She’s obviously forgotten who she wants to be.” So, what about me? How many moments did I represent myself well, aspiring to be the best version of myself?
Did I treat myself well, like I would a best friend or loved one?
Did I laugh and play enough?
Did I make friends? Did I keep them?
Did I use my time to make money or otherwise contribute positively and invaluably to my household?
Did I give away my money and time generously, with a cheerful spirit?
Did I make time back then, for what’s really important to me now?
Did I say the words that needed to be said?
Did I speak the truth in a kind way?
Did I do things anyway, that I didn’t want to do, because it was the right thing to do?
Did I learn to listen to and trust my gut, even when the answer was ‘wait’?
Was I always rushing or did I learn to slow down and develop patience, and even cultivate anticipation?
Did I ever compromise my position when it didn’t compromise my integrity, in order to create win-win situations, or did I always have to have things my way?
How often was my mind open to learning something new? Was I able to embrace a more efficient way to do something, as new solutions became available?
A closed mind closes doors. An open mind stays available to all of life’s gifts.
Was I open to hearing another’s perspective for the sake of understanding and compassion, whether I agreed or not?
Did I have adventures? Did I surprise myself and let myself be surprised by life?
How often was I able to relax and trust during uncertain times?
“Life” happens to everyone. It’s what we do when we’re knocked down that makes all the difference.
Did I model getting back up, time and again, no matter what?
Could people count on me to 'find the gift' and look for the positive, regardless of how bleak a moment might seem?
That’s a lot to think about…
The questions will get answered whether we think about them or not.
Take a moment (and a whole lot of self-honesty) to see where you’re happy with your answers, and also consider what you may want to change in 2021.
Actually, let’s break it down a little more. What would you like to change, starting today?
A tiny movement, repeated consistently, is all it takes to turn a ship in any direction. We are no different.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to ask the question, “Who have I come here to be and why?” Ask now. Ask again a week from now. Keep asking and listening, because we don’t get all the answers up front.
Engage your talents, aptitudes, and creativity. (Everyone has multiple gifts to enjoy and bestow on others—yes, even you.) Own yours without comparing them to mine or anyone else’s. Strive to be ALL of you. The BEST of you. TODAY.
While you’re at it, see how many lives you can touch in a positive way, while being careful to nurture your own needs. (We can’t just pour out. We have to fill back up too.)
The formula for living is so very simple. We do the best we can for as long as we can, moment by moment, until the moments add up to a lifetime. And we say thanks, often.
Here’s wishing you many intentional moments today, this week, this month, this year and this life.
