In my neighborhood, there may be a feud going on between two neighbors down the street from me. One has a dog and one has a cat. Need I say more? But also, one has fescue grass and one has bermudagrass. (Side note for grammar junkies like me: bermudagrass is one word, not capitalized. You’re welcome.)
The dog and the fescue like to creep over into the neighbor’s yard to do what they do. The bermudagrass wants to spread and choke out the manicured fescue. The dog goes over there to do his business and perhaps intimidate the cat.
So the neighbor with the bermudagrass and the cat took some action. He installed a cat door to make sure his cat can quickly get to safety. He put up a sign at each end of his yard “Thank you (for not pooping).” That's reasonable enough. But then he added a property stake and dug a trench between the two yards, from the front curb to the back property line. This trench is approximately two feet wide and solid dirt. (See photos below, I'm not making this up!)
“Catman” may have accomplished his goal of stopping the issues with the dog and the bermudagrass coming into his yard, but at what cost? The animal solutions are minimal—cat doors are common and the dog signs are low to the ground.
But that trench? Is it really worth an unsightly long row of dirt to completely abolish bermudagrass crawling over and causing a minuscule blemish here and there on an otherwise perfect lawn? He could occasionally rip it up or treat it, rather than live with a year-round, self-made ditch.
This extreme solution may be more about principle and pride. If “Catman” was trying to make a point to the neighbor with the bermudagrass, he surely did it. Now they both have to live with an unsightly ditch in their otherwise nice yards. And all of the neighbors have to see this eyesore too. If they’re like me, they are wondering if it will always be that way now or if there will come a time when grass seed will be planted again.
We can’t let obstacles blind us to the point that we will do anything to rid ourselves of them. There are some things we are better off adapting to rather than taking drastic measures that may actually outweigh any positive outcomes.
I wrote last week about
taking calculated risks and used the example of career moves. What I wrote can also apply to relationships, hobbies, side businesses, relocating, or making investments, among other things.
We have to be able to live with our decisions. We don’t want to chop off our noses to spite our faces, as the proverbial saying goes. We must think our decisions through and pay close attention to our motives. Acting on "clean" motives will save us all a lot of grief.
Whenever we feel driven by pride and principle, let’s train ourselves to see that as a huge red flag. Let’s examine what we really want and need, and be open to solutions that help without making things worse, especially if our actions will impact others.
Choosing peace, even when we don’t have to, and especially when we technically have the right to do what we want, takes courage and restraint, two beautiful attributes to nurture.
Today, may all your decisions be thoughtful and life-bringing—a gift to yourself and those around you. Peace and passion are much better P’s to use as benchmarks for making big and small decisions. They will yield more satisfying rewards than what pride and principle will bring. Happy choosing. Happy choosing!
