Fostering mama cats and kittens is a joy-filled thing I do occasionally, because it’s also a lot of work, time and energy on top of the resident kitties I care for.
For me, it's similar to when a woman gives birth and they’re sure they’ll never do that again. After enough time passes, they forget the pain and can only remember how cute that little newborn is. That’s my experience with fostering kittens.
It’s been nearly two years since I last fostered for
Nashville Cat Rescue, but on April 10, I read a desperate plea to take a feral mama and three kittens that were found next to a dump. They were lovingly referred to as the dumpster kitties. I agreed to take them and by noon on April 11, I had them settled into an upstairs bathroom.(photos below)
Within 24 hours, I remembered why two years prior, I had said I wouldn’t be fostering mamas and babies again anytime soon. Did I mention it’s a lot of work?!
And this time, I have a very skittish, wild mama. I may be the first human who has ever touched her. (The rescuer trapped her in a crate.) Dolly and I have a ways to go but we’re on the right track.
The other thing about wild mamas is they are … wild. Each morning I come in to find everything turned over, upside down, litter tracked everywhere—it looks like a tornado hit. She's trying to find the escape hatch. My memory of this came back after the first night, so I emptied the bathroom of everything I cared about. Everything breakable. Non-essentials. And I put what I could into cabinets.
Still, litter box habits of wild cats are less than perfect and since most wild cats have soft poo, I spend a fair amount of time each morning getting the bathroom clean. That becomes even more critical to do a few times a day, when the kittens start moving around.
Usually after two de-worming treatments two weeks apart, mama settles down and I am mostly just cleaning up litter tracking. Except Mama Dolly developed diarrhea again a week after her second de-worming treatment.
No ... I silently screamed. That part is supposed to be over!
Back to smudges of poo all over the bathroom in places you don’t even know how it could’ve gotten there. Sorry if that’s too graphic but all the mothers reading this are probably indifferent to poo stories and a lot of fathers are too. And that’s why I only foster in a bathroom because I can hose it down if I have to.
There is a point to all of this unpleasantness and we’re finally there…
A few days ago, I found myself avoiding my morning rounds upstairs for kitty clean up, food and water refills, and medicine administration. I didn’t want to see how bad the bathroom was, much less spend 30 minutes cleaning it up. So I kept procrastinating and doing other things. In my mind, it was like if I don’t go up there, I can keep pretending nothing’s wrong.
Avoidance doesn't make it less true.
I started wondering what else I avoid because I don’t want to confirm it or accept it, much less do anything about it. Is there something I’d really rather pretend isn’t true? I can think of several things and I don’t think I’m alone with these examples.
- I bet several of us skip the scale when we have enjoyed too many sugary delights, too many days in a row (or whatever your indulgence might be).
- We might postpone balancing the checkbook, so we can think there's more than there really is.
- Like me, you may have loaded up a shopping cart and bought too many unneeded things, charged it and decided somehow it doesn’t really count (at least not until the bill comes).
- If the gas tank is nearing empty, I find myself thinking that if I don't look at it, it won't go down much more before I make it to the next gas station.
- I'll avoid looking at a clock when I know I'm running late and still have things to do.
- I asked for some other examples on Facebook and one of you said we will avoid going to the doctor when we suspect something’s wrong because we don’t want to hear the truth.
- And I’m sure we’ve all sensed something was off in a relationship, but we avoid bringing it up because it’s just easier to pretend everything is okay.
Reality is real whether we acknowledge it or not. Whether we accept it or not. Whether we like it or not.
Sometimes, what I’m avoiding isn’t nearly as bad as I’m afraid it will be.
On that particular day, the cat room, I mean the bathroom wasn’t horrible. It wasn’t great, but it was better than the morning before. I opened the door and immediately felt relief. I was even more relieved after getting everything cleaned up. It was great to have it done—so much better than the fear of facing it.
Acknowledge, accept, act (whenever appropriate) and move on.
It may be hard to face something, but it takes a lot of energy to keep pretending it isn’t true. And that misguided energy could be much better utilized elsewhere, for starters in actually dealing with the issue at hand.
Rose-colored glasses are great when we’re talking about finding the gift in challenging situations, but not when it means we're using avoidance to stay in denial.
For today, let’s confront one thing we’ve been avoiding and take one courageous action.
