When I’m walking in my neighborhood, sometimes I walk in the street for particular stretches because the sidewalks aren't level. On my walk today, I just about squished a caterpillar approximately eight inches off the curb. I took a few more steps and then thought to myself, I need to save this caterpillar because someone else might squish him, on foot or in a car.
I turned around and after a little resistance, I scooped him up and gently tossed him about a foot into the grass. Before I could pat myself on the back for my good deed, I was accosted with numerous thoughts to the contrary.
What if that caterpillar had to fight for days to sum up his courage to cross the street with the hopes of traveling to the wide open farmland that lay beyond the houses on the other side of the street? What if his journey had already taken so very long and in one split second, I set him back a day or more?
Why do I frequently assume that I know what’s best for everybody and everything? How often does my “helping” actually hinder and set people back on their journey? Ouch! I could barely stand myself in that moment of conviction.
But it’s just so true. In my attempts to control and help, I’m certain that I have delayed some people in finding their own authentic paths. There is a difference between caring and caretaking. It’s my ongoing journey to discern what that looks like and be able to practice personal boundaries and restraint.
As I circled back around the block this morning with my new awareness, I wondered if I should try to do something else for the caterpillar. I doubted that I could even spot him since he was earth colored. Should I leave him be? Or carry him to the other side? Had I helped him or not? Ugh.
I looked but I couldn’t see the caterpillar and I wasn’t about to start walking the grass to try to find him, only to squish him in my effort to “help” some more. I decided it was best to just let it be and make my living amends toward my two-legged friends and loved ones going forward. We do better when we know better.
Mr. Caterpillar, if I’ve helped you, then for that I am grateful. If I’ve hindered you, I beg you to forgive me and know that it was only with the best of intentions. Thank you for the very valuable lesson you have illuminated in my world today.
I will continue to embrace my word of the year which is PAUSE. Slow down. Think before I act. I will remember that every reaction doesn’t require a response. Seldom is anything so urgent that I can’t take adequate time to process whether I need to do anything at all.
Maybe I did help Mr. Caterpillar just as much as he helped me. At any rate, I trust he has whatever he needs to continue on his journey, just as you and I do.
For today, be open to the lessons showing up right at your feet. Keep your eyes and mind open for what you are being taught, even by something as unlikely as a caterpillar. Blessings or lessons. Both can be forward movement.
