An act of freedom may bring out criticism from those who aren't free.
Have you ever looked at someone who was totally uninhibited, maybe even "goofy" in a way that you are not (but secretly wished you were)? You felt judgmental instead of admiration? It's easier to point a critical finger than to own an area of expression or growth we desire for ourselves.
We were out walking this morning and I'm free to be as silly as I please around my husband. I am frequently "animated" when I'm with people I'm close to. My husband says I'm playful, but other people might sit in judgment if I acted as silly in
public, so I often rein myself in.
But the truth is, sometimes I am the "other people." If I see someone singing with abandon, and really getting into the song, I might feel an initial ping of envy that could teach me
something, but to spare my ego from acknowledging that want (and present lack), my thoughts might quickly turn to criticism.
Not being critical of others is an ongoing area of growth for me. I grew up in a critical environment with people who were using that defense mechanism to survive. I learned it well and picked it up as a life skill for
myself.
When I sit in judgment of another, however, I'm unknowingly giving away all my power, so it's not really a great life strategy. Awareness of what I'm doing (and why) empowers me to get back in the driver seat of
my life.
I keep working to get free so that I can love every expression of me and therefore, every expression of you. I don't have to resent your ability to be free, because I am becoming free, also.
This automatic way of being has been hard to shift, but every day of awareness is a day of progress, even if it feels like I'm not going anywhere. And awareness is huge. Awareness is always the first step to doing or changing
anything.
In my coaching program, A Life Worth Having, I have an entire week dedicated to the study and assessment of envy, because envy provides valuable clues to the life we want to live.
Envy at a surface level does nothing for us, and can make us feel bad. But if we look deeper at what envy is telling us, it can actually be a helper.
If I am envious of someone singing with reckless abandon in public, it's likely because something in me wishes I could do that. While I may not be able to back up Lauren Daigle or Beyonce, I can look for other ways to feed the part of me that wants that type of expression.
For instance, I could sing in my church choir to meet that internal need. Honoring the various ways we were given to express ourselves is a crucial way to achieve "A Life Worth Having," and experience joy.
Happiness and joy can mean a lot of things to different people, and the sensations can be fleeting. Fulfillment, however, is pretty clear. I want to live a life with daily fulfillment, because it's the daily fulfillment that leads to an overall sense of
satisfaction with who I am and how I live.
Life is really pretty simple.
We find ways to use our gifts, because that nurtures the unique parts of us who need expression.
We seek to serve others, because that fulfills us in a way only usefulness can.
And we seek to love, because love and belonging are as critical to our spirits as breathing. Loving others is a win-win endeavor.
Who is giving you a gift today, even though what you may initially be registering is annoyance or criticism? Who might be pointing you to a clue for achieving more personal fulfillment?
Thank them, bless them, then honor your needs, and take back your power.
