My father is coming to town for his birthday and to see our new home. (By the time you read this, he will be here.) I’m excited to show him that I’ve started re-finishing my
grandmother’s (his mother’s) hope chest. I’ve had it for over thirty years. Some friends refinished it for us back then, but after a few decades, moves and cat scratches, it desperately needs it again.
I’m new to refinishing furniture, but I worked hard in the spring to sand down six old dining chairs for our new kitchen table, and three counter chairs
that sit at our island. I had to leave them bare so I could pack and move, but we’re enjoying them “naked.” I’ll finish them eventually.
I started working on this chest a few days ago. I love sanding old furniture to see what’s underneath. It’s amazing to me that I can take a one hundred year old cedar chest that looks fairly roughed up, sand off the
stain, buff out any scratches, and the chest is good as new again. It’s just as beautiful today as it was when it was first made. Nothing has changed about the wood. How is that possible? It’s one hundred years old! Think of all the life it’s been through.
Life puts wear and tear on us, too, but underneath, we are still shiny, wonderful human beings
collecting experiences and wisdom. Like this chest, oh the stories we could tell!
I’m remembering the car wash metaphor on March 7 in Finding the Gift. Just because life seasons may
leave us covered in grime, we are not ruined. The essence of who we are is intact. With enough self care for our bodies and spirits, we can make a resilient comeback, despite anything life throws at us.
Did something end badly for you? Do you wish you could do it differently? Maybe it’s possible to RE-finish from where you left off? A lot is possible
with enough humility. If we desire peace at all costs, and we’re willing to throw our pride away to have it, it’s never too late to re-finish something.
Is there a relationship or career that you believe is too far gone to be restored? Is that true? Is there a new way to be with it, a way that serves both parties well?
Often our definition of what a thing should be is undermining our peace and happiness. People change. Situations change. What we wanted from a thing may have shifted, but how is it still good? Can your definition of “good”
expand?
Narrow expectations are sure to lead to narrow measures of contentment. Let that go.
Our thoughts may be the first things that need re-finishing. How we think about a thing is sure to
make it true, at least to us.
For instance, if I think you don’t like me and keep my walls up to protect myself, I keep you from knowing all there is to like about me. I keep my distance and perpetuate the lack of
meaningful connection. Because of my own off-putting actions and attitude, it would be easy to decide "you don't like me."
If I mentally quit my job a decade ago, but keep showing up to a job I hate as a miserable person day after day, who’s determining my happiness—the job or me? Happy could smack me in the face without me even recognizing it, if I’m
letting old thoughts dictate my present experience.
Re-finishing thoughts is pretty simple. Consider what thoughts bring pleasant feelings and which ones don’t. Or which thoughts bear good fruit and which ones lead to increased dissatisfaction and disconnectedness.
Most of what we think isn’t truth, it’s perspective (which makes it real to us). So change your MIND!
For today, let’s choose expansion in our thinking. Let’s consider what small actions might lead to a total transformation. Can we re-finish something we thought was
beyond saving? Maybe what it used to be is done, but it’s not too late to transform our situations into a new way of being with them. And we start by refinishing our thoughts.
