I've shared a blog every Tuesday morning for 286 weeks in a row, but this week was one of the hardest. We moved two weeks ago and if you haven't moved in a while, it's easy to forget why moving is one of the top three most stressful events of life. It's right up there with death of a loved one and
divorce/separation.
Besides that, I've always heard if a couple can build a home together, their marriage can survive anything. We just did both.
We began building this home in 2019, starting with the creation of a road to access the build site. That process took two years for the ground to cooperate and the dirt and gravel to stay put. A well had to be dug, and then another. Construction began on the actual home in March, 2022, but the
builder quit two months later, leaving us with only a foundation.
We worked through lawyers for seven months before settling things satisfactorily with the first contractor, then hired another one who began in May,
2023. Our new builder projected a nine month build. We ran three months and lots of dollars over budget, both of which caused complications.
In the push to finish the build, we were also packing to prepare for the big
move. Gosh, just writing about this makes me tired. I now understand where the phrase, "so many moving parts" comes from. Plates spinning, wheels turning... the last few months, years, have been intense.
And
I
am
tired.
While the move is over, the unpacking has just begun. We are surrounded by boxes, disorder and chaos. We are out of sync and daily discovering new normals.
It's one of those times where any one of these life events would be a heavy load, but it's all of it.
I'm not complaining,
just acknowledging that I'm tired. That this has been a lot. That getting adequate sleep doesn't seem to be addressing the exhaustion we both feel. That I'm gonna have to give myself a break and know that a recovery season must follow this intense push to completion, and that I may be tired and not up to my usual pace for a while.
Deep down, I want to hide from everything and truly be "off the grid" for a few weeks (or months). Turn off the phone. Ignore social media and emails. Totally disappear. Pretend that I have no life outside of our beautiful new property.
All or nothing used to be a way of life for me, but I've learned that gray can be good.
In thinking about taking a pass on this week's blog, I know that if I do, it will be even easier to skip on it next week and the week after. And then, it'll be hard to start up again.
We've all experienced this in some form, how not quitting might be a challenge, but it's easier than starting all over again.
Something is better than nothing.
Writing to you at all means I have made some effort instead of none and have chosen to honor the decision I made 287 weeks ago to write a weekly blog. Weekly means weekly, even when I don't feel like it.
Next week, I might be feel more rested than this week and maybe it won't feel as hard. I will recover. In the mean time, I'll do what I can to keep moving forward with my work and the things I care about, without demanding perfection from myself.
I'm not trying to give us a pass to be lazy or less than our best, but to realize that our best varies from season to season. I'm also giving us permission to accept that not everything has to be perfect, and not everything is as
life-threateningly (I just made that word up) important as my mind wants me to believe.
Will this week's blog change lives? Maybe not. Is it my best work? Probably not. Is it my 287th weekly blog in a row? Yes it
is!
I will not quit on you and I will not quit on me. Our best is our best on any given day, and today, this is my best.
Today, my hope is to inspire you to cut yourself some slack and keep going, even when it's hard, and even if all you can do right now is just not quit, whatever that means for you.
PS
Despite fatigue, I am thrilled with our move to the country. We keep pinching ourselves, exclaiming, "We LIVE here!" One of the things we hoped for was a beautiful drive on country roads to get here,
but not too far from the interstate. Want a dose of natural beauty and serenity? Check out my new drive home...
Some day in the distant
future, I hope to offer one-day retreats in my corner of heaven. It's too lovely not to share!
