How close are you to the edge today? We all know the edge I’m talking about, where we’re close to snapping and letting someone really have it. We’re spilling things, dropping stuff, running late and hitting all the red lights. Our teeth are clenched, everything’s going wrong, and everyone is on our Very. Last. Nerve. Those days don’t just happen as randomly as we might like to think.

What would it take right this moment to knock you off your center and send you into one of those days? A global catastrophe? A disappointing phone call? Or maybe just a spilled cup of coffee?

We might think it’s the things in life that upset us, but many times our reaction to the things is greatly impacted by how we’re positioned when those things happen. 

We are more prone to losing our balance if we’re too close to the edge in the first place when that unexpected something happens and we go off the proverbial deep end. When we’ve not giving adequate attention to our needs, we foster a sense of dissatisfaction that builds to the point of eruption.

Last week, I encountered a traffic incident that illustrated this lesson for me and cautioned me to pay attention to regular, loving self-care so I can stay grounded in calmness.

Leaving a gas station, I looked both ways. As a car was passing by (no blinker on), I slowly began pulling out onto the service road. Suddenly the person I intended to pull behind veered sharply right in front of me, turning into the gas station and startling both of us. 

This woman’s face was so animated in her apparent agitation. Her head was bobbing wildly while her mouth was moving non-stop. My guess is she may have already been falling off the edge when our encounter happened, because it looked like she was totally losing it over our near-miss incident. 

It was a surprise, but nothing happened and we were both safe. I was going so slow that it was easy to stop and let her go where she wanted to go. While I was not anticipating suddenly having a car swerve in front of me, it didn’t change my emotions one way or the other. I was feeling fairly balanced in my approach to life that day so everything was right-sized and I could see the experience as a minor traffic mishap and simply move on. Unfortunately, by the look of things, the other woman may have continued to have a stressful day.

I am not judging that woman. I have been that woman myself many times, racing here or there and creating my own chaos. 

When I don’t give myself enough rest, sleep, fun, exercise, good nutrition, and fresh air; when I don’t take good care of my relationships and say what needs to be said (or keep my mouth shut when that’s more appropriate), things aren’t going to go well. I’m going to have “funkiness” leach into my day, which invariably shows up as lots of little stressors trying to capture my attention and tell me to slow down.    

These agitators are an overdue warning that I’m too close to the edge, that things are no longer right-sized (because everything feels like a big deal), and that I need a reset.

When I do provide myself with great nurturing and thoughtful attention to my needs, life stays right-sized. A global catastrophe is a BIG DEAL. A spilled cup of coffee is NOT.

I’m grateful to the woman who almost hit me for showing me what I look like externally when I feel that out of sorts internally. People show us the parts of ourselves that are sometimes hard to see until it’s modeled for us. The visual of that lady’s animated bobble-head will stick with me as a warning for the next time I am starting to become over-the-top agitated and off-kilter. When I am closer to the edge than is comfortable or safe for me and everyone else around me.

If you’re feeling balanced today, that’s wonderful. Go YOU! Carry-on.

If you’re feeling stretched too thin and frustrated, and this email is sounding all too familiar, let’s attend to that now, so there isn’t a snowball effect as you go through life today.

Becoming aware of your breath is always a good response to frustration. Living from a place of frenzied adrenaline tells our body we are in danger and feels pretty bad. We may find ourselves breathing shallowly, or just short of a pant. Taking several deep breaths is a way to exit the feeling of chaos.

Five or six slow, deep inhales tells your body that everything is okay, that you’re safe, and that all is well. Deep breathing slows your body down to resume the easy pace we are wired to live from. 

A breathing adjustment is something we can consciously do anytime, anywhere. We can go from shallow, constricted breathing to long, deep, calming inhales without anyone else knowing. At any time, we can make an intentional shift just by breathing into a softer space to inhabit.

Stretching our arms up over our heads and leaving them up there for a minute or two is proven to enable us to feel more empowered. When we feel empowered, our hope returns. When we feel hopeful, our calm demeanor returns. Combine the two strategies—arms overhead with several deep breaths—and in just a few short moments, our entire outlook can change.

Try it right now. Even if you’re feeling pretty good, try it anyway. Big stretch up with a big, deep breath. Hold it a few seconds and then stretch even taller. Oh wow, doesn’t that sense of peace and relaxation feel incredible? Music and nature are two more powerful solutions that work for me.

Take a quick inventory and decide if you are a safe distance from the edge today, or already in the danger zone. Try the suggestions above to retreat into a safer space. 

You don’t have to live life on the edge. A new day can start afresh any time of the day with the right intentions and the actions to support your positive shift. Cheers to your peaceful state of being today, to maintaining balanced emotions and the willingness to do what it takes to stay centered.