Bringing up Valentine’s Day roses could be a sore subject for some people. Marketing, social media and a trip to the store during this holiday convince us that everyone else receives flowers on Valentine’s Day.
I get it. This holiday has brought up sadness and loneliness for me at times in the past too. So here’s my disclaimer up front. I bought my own Valentine roses this year, on clearance.
I was grocery shopping the Saturday before Valentine’s Day and saw the most beautiful roses in the discount bin. They were stunning: fourteen coral ones and thirteen yellow ones in a huge bouquet with a lot of greenery. A few of the roses were showing some age, but for the discounted price, it seemed like a fair trade.
I called hubby to see if he cared if I bought them for myself, with Valentine’s Day so close. But he said, sure, buy them.
Turns out there were too many flowers, even for my biggest vase so I broke them up into two bouquets, one for the counter and one for the table. We enjoyed an early Valentine’s Day dinner that night with a clearance roast in the InstaPot, and discount roses. It’s glorious to arrive at an age where our “easy to please” button is easy to press.
By February 16, most of the yellow roses had turned brown and slumped over, as did a few of the coral ones. I removed the dead flowers from each bouquet and combined what was left of the coral roses into one bouquet to enjoy them for a few more days.
I’m not sure what possessed me to pry open the dead roses instead of just tossing them in the trash. I’ve never done that before, but I had this strange hunch they still had something to offer.
I peeled off the brown outer layers and pinched open one of the “dead” yellow flowers. To my surprise, the petals were bright and perfectly fresh on the inside. They were moist and fragrant.
I gently freed all the petals from their stem, rubbing each one between my fingers to savor their velvety texture. I liked the experience so much, I grabbed another one and eventually repeated the process with every dead flower.
Pretty soon, I had a counter full of beautiful, delicate petals which I kept scooping up and smelling, while enjoying how they felt to the touch. I was overjoyed to have found a new way to enjoy my roses. I couldn’t bear the thought of throwing them away. The petals were perfect! They had a lot of life left. I put them in a small vase and decided to enjoy them for as long as I could.
A few times a day since then, I’ve dug my hands into the vase to have a tactile, mindfulness meditation with my precious petals. I have so enjoyed feeling and smelling them, as I marveled at how they normally would have just been trashed. (See below for a side note about more ways to practice tactile mindfulness and the benefits.)
Of all the times I’ve had roses, I’ve missed out on this extended period of joy and new way to value them. I started to wonder what else might have a second act, so to speak.
Repurpose. Refine. Re-find. We are constantly doing this as we journey through life. We start out on one road and end up on another.
These rose petals reminded me that even when it seems one thing has ended, perhaps it’s giving way to something else, something far beyond anything I can think or imagine.
If it’s true for roses, why not us? They have more to offer beyond what most people value them for. We do too.
Next time you’re in a slump, feeling lost, old, or in some way less useful than you’d like, think about my beautiful yellow rose petals. They were still tender and full of life, despite a withering outer shell. The old had to be stripped away so the new could be revealed.
Some of you may have heard the Zen proverb, “Let go or be dragged.” When a season has ended, it’s futile and often painful to hold on. Instead, let go. Let the layers of you be peeled back to see what’s next. Be ready to be surprised and delighted.
Being open-minded means being open-ended. We don't always know how the story will end but we can bet it will be delight-ful. Gift-filled. As long as that's what we're looking for.
If you’re reading this, congrats! There’s more for you to discover. Ask yourself today what in your life seems to be coming to a natural end, or is transitioning from how it’s always been. Be willing to let go to make way for something new.
More about Tactile Mindfulness and a Challenge
Mindfulness is about getting in touch with what’s happening right now. An easy way to do that is to get in touch with your senses.
Tactile mindfulness is focusing primarily on touch sensations. It’s calming, inexpensive and can be practiced just about everywhere, with just about anything.
You can use flower petals, blades of grass, leaves, coffee beans, dried kidney beans, lentils, rice or pasta. Paper clips, yarn, marbles. The list is endless. You can put these items in a jar or bowl and enjoy the feeling of running your fingers through them by the handful, or exploring them one at a time.
When’s the last time you felt your cheek, rubbed your hands together, or ran your fingers through your hair? You may be on the verge of practicing touch-based mindfulness more often than you realize. Commit to noticing what things feel like as you go about your day and pause to enjoy them.
Some of the benefits of mindfulness practice are immediate. It provides grounding, transitions our focus away from worries, decreases anxiety and boosts overall well-being.
But the benefits of mindfulness go way beyond instant gratification.
A clinical mindfulness study in 2017 reported that “findings suggest possible effects of mindfulness meditation on specific markers of inflammation, cell-mediated immunity, and biological aging…”
Significant health benefits are an even greater reason to practice mindfulness on a daily basis.
This week, I challenge you to enjoy an intentional tactile mindfulness meditation. I’ve shared my rose petal experience with you and given you all sorts of ideas. Please visit our
FTG Readers Group and tell us what you did and how it felt. Presence leads to presents!
