We had a great family day on Super Bowl Sunday. We continued our new tradition of making a “Super Bowl Squares” board, with prizes based on quarterly scores. Somehow it must have been rigged, however, because my husband won the prize for every single quarter! (He won a 10-minute
foot massage, a floral bouquet, $10 from Amazon, and a fudge pie on demand).
Although I didn't win any of the squares, the biggest victory for me on Sunday was being present. I probably wouldn’t watch football if it weren’t for my guys, but it was good progress for me to enjoy the game, the company, and snuggling with cats, while mostly staying off my phone. Presence doesn't happen naturally for me, so it helped that I set a specific intention to relax and not multi-task.
I love the idea of creating annual rituals to foster and ground a friends/family connection. All it takes is an idea and a willingness to start, and someone to remember to do it again.
It's never too late to start a new tradition. This was only our second squares board, but it was fun last year, and worth repeating. Try new things often, and keep them going when they prove meaningful or memorable.
The Super Bowl commercials were entertaining. There were some we loved and some that we found weird. But I noticed an opposing theme among a few of them. Some of the commercials were promoting virtual experiences and alternate universes, while others were advocating for enjoying life in real time. Matthew McConaughey starred in one I particularly liked that encouraged presence and gratitude in our current “space.”
Observing the commercials with opposite goals, I was reminded that there will always be differences among us. People will differ in what they like and where their priorities lie. In many cases, there is no right or wrong, just personal preference.
Several months ago, I heard an approach to apply to relationships when there is conflict. Always, always, seek out and work from the common goal, the common good. Think about and discuss, "What CAN we agree on?"
Although we may have different personal preferences, we usually can also discover what both parties mutually value, and use that as the basis for communication and interaction.
When we agree to identify and pursue the common goals amongst us, peace, harmony and connection are possible. Our differences can take a backseat so that respect is maintained and relationship is sustainable.
How do you handle differences of opinions, communications styles and priorities? How important is peace? We’ve all heard the question to ask ourselves in conflict, “Do I want to be happy, or do I want to be right?” We might add, “Do I want to connect on common ground, or separate on what’s different?”
Today, look for the moments where differences could cause friction and opposition, and decide what you really want. If it’s connection, look for the common goal instead, and respond from there.
Going forward, watch out for opportunities to create new rituals that generate excitement and anticipation around connection. Let's allow these to deepen our experiences and enrich our bonds with one another.
